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neumu
Wednesday, November 22, 2017 
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+ Donato Wharton - Body Isolations
+ Svalastog - Woodwork
+ Tim Hecker - Harmony In Ultraviolet
+ Rosy Parlane - Jessamine
+ Jarvis Cocker - The Jarvis Cocker Record
+ Múm - Peel Session
+ Deloris - Ten Lives
+ Minimum Chips - Lady Grey
+ Badly Drawn Boy - Born In The U.K.
+ The Hold Steady - Boys And Girls Together
+ The Blood Brothers - Young Machetes
+ The Places - Songs For Creeps
+ Camille - Le Fil
+ Wolf Eyes - Human Animal
+ Christina Carter - Electrice
+ The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
+ Junior Boys - So This Is Goodbye
+ Various Artists - Musics In The Margin
+ Rafael Toral - Space
+ Bob Dylan - Modern Times
+ Excepter - Alternation
+ Chris Thile - How To Grow A Woman From The Ground
+ Brad Mehldau - Live in Japan
+ M Ward - Post-War
+ Various Artists - Touch 25
+ The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
+ The White Birch - Come Up For Air
+ Camera Obscura - Let's Get Out of This Country
+ Coachwhips - Double Death
+ Various Artists - Tibetan And Bhutanese Instrumental And Folk Music, Volume 2
+ Giuseppe Ielasi - Giuseppe Ielasi
+ Cex - Actual Fucking
+ Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche
+ Leafcutter John - The Forest And The Sea
+ Carla Bozulich - Evangelista
+ Barbara Morgenstern - The Grass Is Always Greener
+ Robin Guthrie - Continental
+ Peaches - Impeach My Bush
+ Oakley Hall - Second Guessing
+ Klee - Honeysuckle
+ The Court & Spark - Hearts
+ TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain
+ Awesome Color - Awesome Color
+ Jenny Wilson - Love And Youth
+ Asobi Seksu - Citrus
+ Marsen Jules - Les Fleurs
+ The Moore Brothers - Murdered By The Moore Brothers
+ Regina Spektor - Begin To Hope
+ The 1900s - Plume Delivery EP
+ Alejandro Escovedo - The Boxing Mirror
+ Function - The Secret Miracle Fountain
+ Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped
+ Loscil - Plume
+ Boris - Pink
+ Deadboy And The Elephantmen - We Are Night Sky
+ Glissandro 70 - Glissandro 70
+ Calexico - Garden Ruin (Review #2)
+ Calexico - Garden Ruin (Review #1)
+ The Flaming Lips - At War With The Mystics
+ The Glass Family - Sleep Inside This Wheel
+ Various Artists - Songs For Sixty Five Roses
+ The Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea
+ Motorpsycho - Black Hole/Blank Canvas
+ The Red Krayola - Introduction
+ Metal Hearts - Socialize
+ American Princes - Less And Less
+ Sondre Lerche And The Faces Down Quartet - Duper Sessions
+ Supersilent - 7
+ Band Of Horses - Everything All The Time
+ Dudley Perkins - Expressions
+ Growing - Color Wheel
+ Red Carpet - The Noise Of Red Carpet
+ The Essex Green - Cannibal Sea
+ Espers - II
+ Wilderness - Vessel States

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Hella
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Bitches Ain't Shit But Good People
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This 12-inch sounds wrong at both 33 rpm and 45 rpm. At 45 rpm it sounds really, really fast. At 33 rpm it still sounds too fast. Except it's Hella and they play too fast. So both speeds are the right speed. Except only one of them is right — 45 rpm. But 33 rpm sounds pretty good too. Wrong, but good.

Hella is made up of two people — Spencer Seim, who plays guitar and looks like he belongs at a Renaissance Faire, and Zach Hill, who plays drums. Neither of them sings. Well maybe they do, but they don't sing in this band. The last song on this 12-inch has vocals that are not sung by Spencer or Zach. This is a gimmick, and like all bad gimmicks it will be forgotten and pondered by historians in years to come. Because the song, a reworking of "Republic of Rough and Ready" (the best song from Hella's first album, Hold Your Horse Is), is ruined by the whiny singer, and it's embarrassing when you get down to it. A quick fix though — play the 12-inch at 33 rpm so he sounds a bit more menacing. But then the instrumental part sounds like bad Black Sabbath. Nix the fix.

If Hella were to have a vocalist, it should be an auctioneer. The tempos of each are pretty similar, and think of how rad a noise band with bona fide subliminal messages would be! The auctioneer could toss in crazy asides like, "Let's use chairs for money," which could take down the whole capitalist system from the inside, because people would be buying this in droves. Plus, Hella fans are really rich. At one of the band's recent shows in Brooklyn, Trey Anastasio, the singer from Phish, was there rocking out, and he's LOADED!

And speaking of loaded, there's Load Records, which puts out albums by Hella's bitter rival, Lightning Bolt (in fact I don't think there's a rivalry, but the press should really create one, à la Oasis vs. Blur, Beatles vs. Stones, West Coast vs. East Coast, Jefferson Airplane vs. Jefferson Starship). Hella and Lightning Bolt are both noisenik duos, but Hella's better because their songs are melodic AND noisy. Lightning Bolt doesn't have the tunes. But suddenly there's been a third-act role reversal, cuz the new Lightning Bolt album, Wonderful Rainbow (run and buy it), is really melodic, and this Hella 12-inch is just noisy and tuneless. Maybe they each decided that the other band was the best and decided to copy them? In which case Hella is the best band, so Lightning Bolt gets points for recognizing that, and this whole equation's shot to shit in the end.

So yeah, these new songs aren't great listening, but they're great dancing, especially if you've got two left feet. It's impossible to dance to Hella songs — they're always changing tempos, and even if they weren't it's just way too fast for any real moves. But if you don't have any real moves then you've got a great excuse, because everyone looks dumb moving to it. And suddenly you're the life of the party for the first time ever. So start thrashing, loser!


by Yancey Strickler




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