Remember that scene from Oliver Stone's film "The Doors" where the
band, along with Pam, gets high in the desert and at one point —
between the vomiting, twirling and spirit-chasing — the group
moans along to "My Wild Love"? Remember how Morrison bellowed so low,
sounding especially fucked-up? And the eerie bongo beats, feeling so
distant they trailed behind somewhere in the foothills? Remember how
the four had their arms draped loosely around one another's necks as
they swayed irregularly to and fro? How the music felt like it came,
not from those who created it, but from the atmosphere of broken
reality it embodied?
Calvin Johnson's first collection of tunes he penned alone, dubbed
What Was Me, shares a similar feel. Though likely having
nothing to do with acid trips or barren Californian deserts, the
album exudes that same minimalist, primitive energy that escaped the
sweaty pores of The Doors' members that break-through of an "I saw
God" kind of day.
Stripped of musical conventions, each song off the intimate, folky
What Was Me takes on a life of its own, separate from
Johnson's, primarily because he is so quick to give it all away.
Armed with nothing more than a deep, baritone voice and an acoustic
guitar, Johnson (founder of K Records) crafted each song with nothing
to hide and an entire soul to bare. With complexity and layering
absent, the record is so simple and raw that honesty and emotion
stand at the forefront of this dreary, heartfelt record. Johnson's
dark, unique songs often feel as if they could've been written a
hundred years ago, recalling a time when folk songs were cherished as
an aid in surviving hardship, the sort of songs not passed around by
recording but by word of mouth and shared experience.
Each song evokes a time when pop music — recording, production,
effects, etc. — did not exist. For instance, "Lightnin' Rod for
Jesus," which features vocal contributions from The Gossip's Beth
Ditto, feels like a old gospel song shared by those in hard times as
if it were the only tool available to endure life's troubles. Flowing
on pretty, harp-like acoustic plucks at the guitar, the airy,
melancholy "Warm Days" sounds on the verge of tears while the title
track is, although still dark, relatively upbeat, with a stomping,
sing-along feel.
The a cappella "Ode to St. Valentine" finds Johnson — of Dub
Narcotic Sound System, Beat Happening and the Halo Benders —
performing a duet with Mirah, who's also a K Records artist with an
incredibly passionate voice. Offering an intimate diary-like feel,
many songs off the snail's-paced What Was Me speak of loves
either longed for or lost. "When it's you that I'm wanting, the past
comes back to haunt me," Johnson sings on the album's opener, "The
Past Comes Back to Haunt Me," sounding both desperate and hopeless.
"Can We Kiss?" is more upbeat and hopeful, with a lighthearted melody
and bright words: "Can we find a way to sidestep the usual, strange
unveiling?/ Can we kiss?/ Can we kiss?/ What would happen/ If we
happened to kiss?/ Would the clouds curl up?/ Would the earth still
exist?/ ... Would the sky fall/ Like I'm falling for you?" Johnson coos
sweetly.
In all, and as the title implies, What Was Me feels like
Johnson's attempt at reflecting on his life from an afterlife
viewpoint or — like The Doors in the desert — a
mind-altered subjectivity. It's as if he's made something so much his
own, he was able to let it go — allowing it to breathe with a
life and soul all its own.
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