neumu [ cinematronic ]




	Are We There Yet?
	Brian Levant Ice Cube, Nia Long, Tracy Morgan, Jay Mohr, Aleisha Allen, Philip Bolden, M.C. Gainey, Nichelle Nichols 2005		For a guy with such imposing presence, innate acting chops and good career sense, rapper-turned-actor Ice Cube sure blew it with the painful-to-watch family comedy "Are We There Yet?" Nick (Ice Cube) is the successful owner of a sports memorabilia shop in Portland, and a cold-blooded player when it comes to the ladies, until he falls for upscale party-planner Suzanne (Nia Long), a beautiful divorcee. But Suzanne's hateful children stand in the way of Nick's big score. The vicious brats, Lindsey and her younger brother Kevin, harbor dreams of their mother reuniting with their father and conspire against any new man pursuing Suzanne. To Nick's eventual chagrin, he agrees to help get the kids to Vancouver for a New Year's Eve party that Suzanne is overseeing. After he fails to put them on a plane or train, he's duty-bound to drive the little terrors to their reunion with Mom. And it becomes the most hellish road trip ever. One bad slapstick sequence follows another. The child actors are totally annoying and never earn a shred of sympathy. Four screenwriters are listed (with who-knows-how-many hands brought in to punch up the script), and there's not a laugh or a clever line to be found. Considering director Brian Levant's execrable filmography of previous "comedies" ("Snow Dogs," "Jingle All the Way," "The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas," etc.), the failure of "Are We There Yet?" was a no-brainer. Literally.


	Sunday, November 17, 2024





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