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	Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid
	Dwight Little Johnny Messner, KaDee Strickland, Matthew Marsden, Nicholas Gonzalez, Eugene Byrd, Karl Yune, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Morris Chestnut 2004		Apparently, the ludicrous jungle-monster flick "Anaconda," featuring an enormous, very peckish man-eating snake and Jon Voight doing the most inane South American accent in film history, wasn't bad enough. With its multiple giant, human-gulping slitherers, "Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid" equates more and bigger with better. In fact, "Anacondas" is worse that its crappy predecessor. And it's not enough that the premise and script ignore actual zoology, geography and any kind of scientific reason. "Anacondas" fails miserably, because it's a shoddy, predictable, written-by-committee B-movie with no charm. A greed-driven pharmaceutical research team heads into the wilds of Borneo by boat to harvest a super-rare orchid that blooms only once every seven years and may harbor enzymes to cure terminal disease and ensure long life. But something lurks in the river. The digitally rendered passel of serpents is, if possible, phonier and cheaper-looking than what snaked around in "Anaconda." Even with the somewhat recognizable Morris Chestnut on board as the team's financial manager, the no-name cast sucks. Alas, no one approaches the supremely hysterical awfulness of Voight — unless you count the humiliating hip-hop Stepin Fetchit routine of Eugene Byrd as the expedition's computer expert. There should be more hissing at the screen than there is on the screen.


	Wednesday, December 18, 2024





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