neumu [ cinematronic ]




	The Haunted Mansion
	Rob Minkoff Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Wallace Shawn, Marsha Thomason, Jennifer Tilly, Dina Waters 2003		As foolish and craven as it was, Walt Disney Studios' plan to make feature films based on Disneyland's better-known amusement-park rides resulted in the shockingly good "Pirates of the Caribbean." The company's luck ran out with "The Haunted Mansion," a noisy, dull, dispiriting piece of tripe that shoehorns the broad, jive comedy of Eddie Murphy into supposedly wholesome amusement. Although not sinking to the depths of "Feets, do yo' stuff!," Murphy's takes are uncomfortably over the top in a story trying to reflect elements of the Disneyland attraction. To justify sassy, urban Murphy in the lead, "The Haunted Mansion" involves a modern African-American family from New Orleans. Realtor Jim Evers (Murphy), his wife (Marsha Thomason) and kids are trapped in a bayou mansion haunted by 19th century ghosts. The joint's spectral butler, footman and maid are respectively and drolly played by Terence Stamp, Wallace Shawn and Dina Waters; the spirit inside a magical crystal ball is actually the head of wacky Jennifer Tilly. All are too good for the material. The patchwork script, with automated frights and unfunny pop-culture references, is built around an antebellum interracial love story that ended in suicide. It's rated PG, which should stand for Painfully Gratuitous.