neumu [ cinematronic ]




	Gigli
	Martin Brest Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bartha, Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, Lainie Kazan 2003		No matter how it turned out, the empty action-romance-comedy "Gigli" is now part of Hollywood lore as the project that led to a real-life love connection for stars Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. But "Gigli," written and directed by Martin Brest ("Scent of a Woman"), is so lifeless, ridiculous and offensive that it'll be, at most, a tabloid-paper footnote in the annals of cinema. Affleck is L.A. lout/minor mob muscle Larry Gigli, who's ordered to kidnap Brian (Justin Bartha), the mentally-challenged brother of a federal prosecutor. Brian is slated to meet a horrible fate unless the prosecutor saves a crime boss (Al Pacino in a fitful cameo) from prison time. Larry can't deal with Brian's "Rain Man" behavior, and is predictably callous. Things get sillier when Ricki, a beautiful female enforcer played by Lopez, shows up to make sure Larry doesn't screw up. Here comes the sexy, right? Wrong. Ricki says she's a lesbian. Larry must convert her, or the hot stuff doesn't happen. He does, it doesn't — and they're both unlikable. Where's the passion that induced Ben and Jen to board the Loveland Express, delighting gossip columnists and E! cable viewers? Nowhere. With Christopher Walken walkin' through a small role.