neumu [ cinematronic ]




	Cradle 2 The Grave
	Andrzej Bartowiak Jet Li, DMX, Anthony Anderson, Kelly Hu, Tom Arnold, Mark Dacascos, Gabrielle Union, Drag-on 2003		A disheartening collision of "gangsta" flava, martial-arts gymnastics and incongruent plot elements stolen from various heist, spy and sci-fi movies, "Cradle 2 the Grave" is one more stateside waste of Hong Kong action hero Jet Li. (And that ghetto-chic title has nothing to do with the film itself.) It doesn't help that Li is teamed with rapper DMX, whose acting chops consist of a scowl and the occasional blank look. Tony (DMX) is a Robin Hood-lum with a gang that includes a sex object (Gabrielle Union) and pudgy comic relief (Anthony Anderson). They steal from criminals like pushers and pimps and bring the swag to a goofy fence (Tom Arnold, more comic relief), but some "black diamonds" that they filch and lose to a mob boss are secretly a source of nuclear energy developed in Taiwan. Li's kung-fu-fightin' agent joins Tony to recover the gems and battle another martial-arts master (Mark Dacascos) in a poorly shot climax. Li's staunch presence in Asian hits such as "Once Upon a Time in China" is a mere echo in "Cradle...," which isn't even as good as his other English-language films with lame plots, bad dialogue and weak direction.