neumu [ cinematronic ]




	Half Past Dead
	Don Michael Paul Steven Seagal, Morris Chestnut, Ja Rule, Nia Peeples, Claudia Christian, Linda Thorson, Kurupt, Bruce Weitz 2002		The befuddling, farfetched, obstreperous "Half Past Dead," intended to keep porcine action star Steven Seagal's career on life support, has a 2000 copyright. But it's off the shelf to stultify an unsuspecting audience of non-discriminating moviegoers. Whatever happened to eternal cold storage? Seagal, who looks more like Jim Belushi every day, is an undercover FBI agent incarcerated in the New Alcatraz maximum security pen. A conniving prison official, played by Morris Chestnut, leads a vicious commando unit that takes over the jail in order to learn the whereabouts of a fortune in gold bullion from a death-row inmate. While they're at it, the commandos even manage to hold a visiting female Supreme Court justice hostage. It's up to Seagal and the convicts to save the day. R-i-i-i-ght. The cast is a mix of rappers (Seagal's main thug buddy is the screen-comfy Ja Rule) and TV vets (the Supreme is post-Diana Rigg "Avengers" girl Linda Thorson). "Half Past Dead" is the first feature from trash-TV director Don Michael Paul, who also wrote the way past brain-dead script. With Nia Peeples, Claudia Christian and Kurupt.