neumu [ cinematronic ]




	Swept Away
	Guy Ritchie Madonna, Adriano Giannini, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Bruce Greenwood 2002		The only thing swept away by this shrill, pointless remake of Lina Wertmuller's provocative 1974 romantic comedy/political satire is the credibility of promising British director Guy Ritchie ("Snatch"). As for Ritchie's career, it may be more like "Pissed Away." The biggest problem here, other than the idea of shooting a new version of a perfectly good film, is the amateurish presence of Ritchie's desperate-for-movie-success wife, pop star Madonna ("Evita," "The Next Best Thing"), in the lead. Type-cast as a rich, controlling bitch on a pleasure cruise, Madonna again proves to be a terrible actress. Her abusive character is shipwrecked on a desert island with a put-upon deckhand (Adriano Giannini, in the same role his father Giancarlo played in the original). The animosity between mistress and servant turns to passion; he becomes the master and she becomes the slave. Thanks to Madonna's dramatic ineptitude, you never believe a moment. Speaking of slavery, this had to be Madonna's idea. Now we know who calls the shots in the Ritchie family.